Eye Shadowing Sommerian X-Woman Aussie Celebrity Date Attempt: Rose Byrne

Hi Rose,

I was wondering if you’d like to go on a date sometime. By date I just mean hang out, and by hang out I mean stroll through a city, eat dinner at a secret locavore dive/boutique/indie eatery with a continental menu, followed by healthy and equal doses of American beer and trivia themed bar games with other people. Yes, I admit, my interary seems a lot like a 3 minute Vimeo, Canon 5d Mark II, HD video montage set to Florence + The Machine – Dogs Days or Over shot, edited, and submitted by random users – it certainly sounds that played out. And, to be honest again, Dog Days are Over has been kind of ruined for me by the frenetic pace at which it’s been absorbed into the soulless grist mill of commercial culture.

You’re right. That plan is worn bare, thin, ragged; almost puritanical for a time period bedazzled with relentless innovation, wildly imaginative multi-media expressionism, and dangerously speculative tech bubbles. So what about:

A box of Franzia, three seasons of The Wire, and enough kettle corn to survive a capitalism induced nuclear winter? I only say capitalism induced nuclear winter because it appears (to a casual, semi-literate observer) that the planetary economy is headed off a cliff, along with almost literally everything else we depend upon for sustenance, like bread, water, and the natural environment.

Oh. Bread and water can’t possibly be inextricably hitched to a voracious and globalized destruction machine called radical capitalism? I beg to differ: Water, Grain – apocalypse.

Anyway, if you’d like t ride out the self-induced finale to human civilization watching old shows and/or movies from the interwar period (as it will come to be known) hit me up. Email will work better because I live in China and getting texts or facebook messages is kind of a struggle. Anyway, good luck with everything: the career, radically evolutionary mutant powers, fame, fortune, and what not.

Cheers,

Devin

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