Sucker Punching, Hip-hopping Aussie, Part-time Painter Renaissance Woman Celebrity Date Attempt: Abbie Cornish

Celebrity, Celebrity Dating, Date

Hi Abbie,

First of all, I have never seen Sucker Punch. Second of all, I do not understand how a movie with samurai, mech-warriors, surrealistic futurism, gothic sanitoriums, Nazis, zombies, bi-planes, dragons, massive battles, multi-barrel weapons with extremely high cyclic rates of fire, Jon Hamm, interplanetary imagery, trains, helicopters, dirigibles, the guy that played Admiral Joshua Painter in The Hunt for Red October, bazookas, molotov cocktails, and, generally, an optical feast of pulp and fantasy could be anything but fun, I just haven’t gotten around to watching it yet.

So anyway, would you like to go on a date with me? I don’t know where and I don’t when it would be possible because I am teaching history and geography in a suburb of Beijing but I think good times could be had sauntering a lazy weekend afternoon away in some cafe district. I’m not a huge believer in the utility of lists our socially-networked global society uses to describe people. Am I collection of favorite movies, books, and quotes? No, actually, I’m not. Nobody really is. Plus, those kinds of identifiers really only serve one purpose: as a gimmick to convince people to make more ‘connections’ on FB and dating sites and therefore generate more data.

So I guess what I’m saying is: Yes, I like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, travel is, in fact, one of my interests, and lo and behold – Goodnight Moon is one of my favorite books. It turns out that I am 20 million or so people! I am also saying that there is more to my, or any, personality than an itemized, SQL-ized set of preferences. Like this: I believe an environment can be intelligent, but I don’t know if that intelligence is ascribed by human rationalization or if an environment can possesse intelligence intrinsically. I actually wonder about that sometimes.

Ha! – it turns out that I’m a huge dork in addition to liking Indiana Jones movies and Arrested Development.

Did I mention I also like battle rap? And I’ve been skydiving twice and once, during a futbol match in highschool, I decked a guy so hard he left the field crying. I was suspended for three games – so I am not entirely a nerd either. Anyway, I guess that’s it, let me know if you want to hang out sometime and good luck with everything.

Cheers,

Devin

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