5 Rants, the Second: Debt Ceiling Brinkmanship as Relevant to Federal Student Loan Availability

First of all, let me say that I thrilled, absolutely ecstatic, that you, our congressional leaders, are playing brinkmanship with a national and global financial system that is fragile at best and teetering on disaster at worst. Watching the entire planet descend into chaos as the result of egotistical American federal legislators is exactly how I pictured the advent of civilizational collapse, so it would be like a dystopian fantasy come true. Thanks guys!

As I’m sure allowing the United States to default on its foreign debt will plunge the nation into a nightmare economic maelstrom at the end of which lies a post-apocalyptic landscape of warring tribes and cannibal infested wastelands, I can only imagine that the impacts will be felt far and wide from the DC epicenter. Availability of student loans, or affordability (basically the same thing), will probably vanish.

But what of that? So what if the possibility of attending college, or graduate school, being inspired and surrounded by fellow aspirants to a better life or world, to personal and professional success gets banished from the majority of American realities. So what. Who needs engineers, and lawyers, and doctors, who needs people to teach those future workers.

The fact that this little game of chicken you there in Congress are playing along a precipice of turmoil and international chaos isn’t THAT big of a deal, even though it might prevent an enormous swathe of young scholars in the country from seeking or finishing degree programs, unless of course they are unimaginably wealthy (tuition is going to skyrocket once state and federal subsidies for institutions of higher learning disappear completely followed by the decimation of enrollment that the unavailability of student loans is sure to cause).

Right?

Maybe, I don’t know, I’m sure one could wrangle up data to support any number of scenarios. Given the time and inclination I could probably find enough legitimate sources and references to argue semi-persuasively that robots are about to conquer the planet earth and farm our body heat for energy.

Whatever happens though, I look forward to the return of tallow candles, vellum, and a scary, brutal network of theocratic regimes governed mercilessly from futuristic cathedrals erected after you morons are finished turning the world into a contemporary version of the middle ages.

Bravo.

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