Thad, no worries sir. I too am struggling to assign meaning and importance to whatever the hell this short lived brush with conscious thought called life is. Should I get a ‘career’, settle down, procreate, devote my life to a half-hearted and equally mediocre job for 40 or some odd years? Or do I go the other way and embrace chaos so completely that when I finally let go and flame out I do so with such intensity that a charred, smoking crater is imprinted on the very fabric of space and time? Or some mix? I have no idea.
All I know is: the thought of a traditional life, of day in and day out adherence to placid conventionality, is utterly terrifying and depressing, at least to the Devin Howard who is 26 and exists right now. Maybe things will change, perhaps my views will shift, I don’t know, but until they do I’m going to have to find a different way to live and seek satisfaction. If growing up means losing a sense of curiosity, wonder, or adventure then count me out, for good. I will waste away in a cambodian guest house or a nepalese shanty or in the wild barren emptiness of Patagonia before I surrender.