Laconic, Parks and Recreational, Hilariously Deadpan Comedienne Celebrity Date Attempt: Aubrey Plaza

Parks and Recreation, celebrity dating, celebrity date attempt

Hi Aubrey, this is Devin Howard, part time furniture designer (I’ve repainted a few pieces I scored at goodwill), part-time live at home son (full time), and no-time data entry employee because I got laid off on Monday.

So, hey, I was wondering if you’d like to get dinner one night, maybe check out an art exhibit, a folk show, a piano concerto or something? We could even throw in an activity, like fencing (I was always best with Foil) or hiking or urban exploration.

There’s not really an abundance of things to recommend me, unless you like beards or adventurousness, or motorcycles (I don’t have one, but I do know how to ride one), or discussing dialectical materialism; the moral, ethical, and legal implications of for-profit correctional facilities; the importance of a public-private relationship to space resource development; rad snowboarding videos; contemporary science fiction; spontaneity; how awesome the Black Keys are; the simple, quiet joy of pre-dawn coffee, just boring stuff like that.

Anyway, let me know if you wanna hang out some time, like I said, I just lost my job so my schedule is wide open.

Cheers, stay awesome

Devin Howard

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5 comments

  1. cassiebehle

    Sorry to hear about your job; too bad the full-time job of being awesome (shazam) doesn’t pay well. Or at all. Except in smiles and/or polite, approving nods, which I’m sure you have acquired from surrounding friends and family in abundance.

  2. devin howard

    Haha, yeah. Except from my mom, although she did smile and give me a hug it was followed by rounds of intense questioning of my plans and strategy. Thanks for the condolences too, it might actually work out for the best if I end up moving to China or throwing up the deuces and peacing out to africa or somewhere crazy, I’ve been known to make rash, but very fun, decisions like that before.

    PS How many celebrities do you think I’ll have to ask out before one actually says yes? I’m at like 18 or 19 now. I usually post these into forums on show/movie/fansites, not sure if they get taken down or not, I rarely check.

  3. cassiebehle

    Gotta love that. I wish I could be as spontaneous, but unfortunately, my checkbook has me by the throat. It makes frequent, non-verbal threats to the little voice in my head that desperately wants that new pair of heels. It’s very convincing. Then of course, there are the student loans that come out of the woodwork to beat me up in some dark alley when I overindulge. Buncha sharks.

    Oh, man. I don’t know. Didn’t realize they’ve been getting more oversight than just your blog, so that raises expectations a bit. Maybe try one that hasn’t done anything successful in like, a year. She’ll feel down on her luck and probably succomb immediately to any form of attention. Even a meaningful blog date invite. 😉

  4. cassiebehle

    My bad. Not “oversight.” Meant “circulation.” Or “readership.” Take your pick – my mind is apparently on vacation this morning.

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