Proof that Reality is an Insufferable Asshole

1. Arbitrary, capricious, and completely unapologetic about both

2. Infinite experiential possibilities combined with finite opportunity to experience

3. Pathetic and continuous inability to defeat laughable myths like climate science denial and intelligent design

4. Ann Coulter

5. Scratch-off lottery tickets

6. The diamond trade

7. Spiders

8. Noncommittal subjectivity

9. Creed’s former popularity

10. Corn subsidies

11. Crystal meth

12. One party consent surveillance laws

13. Bisphenol A

14. American Idol

15. The pre-adolescent beauty pageant industry

16. Non violent drug offense related incarcerations

17. The reign of President for Life Saparmurat Niyazov over Turkmenistan

18. Every mindless clone of Desperate Housewives or Jersey Shore

19. Quantitative trading

20. Zebra mussels



  1. cassiebehle

    I like this specifically for #2, 3, 5, 7, 9 (although, they at one time had a l”ive” tiger in their music video, so give credit where credit is due, also, jk, also, where is Nickelback in this list?), 14, 15, 18 and 20.

    So, I guess in essence, I’m saying that I approve of mostly everything on this list. Touche.

    What made you think of zebra mussels, btw? Bastards…

  2. devin howard

    haha, i wanted to include an invasive species on the list and at first was going with the giant snakehead fish from asia thats starting to spread throughout the US, but zebra mussels was just a better choice phonetically.

    Also, Nickelback was the go to choice but I think that making fun of nickelback might have jumped the shark at this point, especially after they got owned by a pickle.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s