Multi-talented Blue Eyed Enchantress Celebrity Date Attempt: Zooey Deschanel

Last summer, while I was traveling in Southeast Asia, I got hammered one night on Baijiu which is a gag inducingly strong rice whiskey and I decided to start asking celebrities out on dates. I’ve never sent multiple requests and I try to completely avoid creepiness although that probably isn’t possible to achieve in an absolute fashion. This is what I posted on a facebook page purportedly for Zooey Deschanel and/or her fans. This is a obviously a little out of date (I’m 26 now), but whatevs. Oh, also, I had no idea she was married when I sent this, seriously. Whats either ironic or hypocritical about this whole juvenile lark is that I’m not into ‘celebrity’ culture, i.e. obsessing over the celebrity lifestyle. Anyway, heres what I wrote:

Hey Zooey, if you’re free sometime after July 22 wanna watch Wet Hot American Summer or Airplane, maybe Spaceballs? The thing is, is that I’m in Southeast-Asia right now and will be flying out of Thailand next Wednesday or I’d be able to do it sooner. Sorry I didn’t introduce myself first, I’m Devin Howard (as you can see), and I’m basically just a 25 year old escape artist at the moment who hopes desperately that a job exists for someone who invested all of their formal education in the humanities. I enjoy playing sports, flyfishing, listening to an eclectic musical spectrum running (on one end) from post war gospel/blues to (on the other end) prog rock with soaring metal arias, and also riding dirtbikes. Anyway, I’m a pretty laid back dude, possess a modest degree of education and organic intelligence, and can hold my own in most social situations, so if you wanna chill sometime just let me know. Keep rockin’.




One comment

  1. Pingback: Multi-talented Blue Eyed Enchantress Celebrity Date Attempt: Zooey … | JustPOINT

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