Thanks be for:

I am most thankful for my family, members of which still manage to put up with me somehow, and for my kickass friends because they’re rad. I’m also thankful for the internet which lets me muckrake incessantly (check out this piece from the editor of MotorTrend:, yeah, you can suck it too Limbaugh, you fat fucking moron. Kinda funny how your website does not allow comments, ensuring that even the most basic level of legitimacy – leaving oneself open to critique – isn’t met).

I’m also thankful for Cardon Webb, because he makes typography a georgeously artistic excercise and experience, for whoever invented scrabble because thats a really fun game. For food and having it; for Soviet communism without which we may never have landed on the moon. For graffiti artists, both the art they produce and the municipal employment opportunities they provide; for glaciers – keep holding out up there, stay strong; For Johannes Kepler and all the fantastic advances he made in optics, refractive telescope technology, and methodological improvements in telescope manufacturing; for the word “ideology” and the versatility it acheives while being practiced so rigidly by so many; for things like “asymmetric, prompt, global strike capability” and other mind boggling chestnuts courtesy of our armed services and their spirited attempts to best the age old, zero-sum “security dilemma”; for snow, snowboards, and women’s snow outerwear; for non-violent drug offenders who keep a vital segment of our economy running; for hypocrisy, because it makes reconciling what you say and do so incredibly easy – it deserves thanks for being such a useful tool; for Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, those rascals, what could we possibly spend 90% of our time thinking about and discussing if not for those two? Alleviating poverty? Improving education? Disease? Yeah, sure. For the Standard system of weights and measurements, your tenacity and perserverance are truly inspiring.

A few more quick shout-outs: any dimension beyond the 4th – I don’t really understand you but you might make simulated faster-than-light travel possible one day, and thats cool. Cream cheese frosting – for being irresistible. Wet mortar construction – hard to put a value on the things you’ve done for our species. Water, magic potions, nested menus, the binary system, 0, jealousy, dragons, adderall, Loons (the bird), wing suits, and redbull round out my list, and I think they’re all pretty self explanatory.

Happy Thanksgiving!


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