I asked out Katrina Bowden, the secretary from 30Rock on the ‘askTina’ show forum. And this is what I wrote:
Hey Tina, do you think you could pass along this message, provided below, to Katrina? Am I attempting to ask out a celebrity and fellow cast member? Yes. Does this violate forum protocol that I am as yet unfamiliar with? Perhaps. But I am actually a normal person, not a disfigured social outcast living semi-vicariously through the comfortable anonymity of an electronic world. You can check me out on facebook for proof, because obviously a facebook profile is a pristinely accurate and comprehensive representation of the individual, seriously though it should demonstrate that I am indeed a normal human being. And the message:
Hola Senorita Bowden! Como estas? Me llamo Devin, tengo veinte y cinco anos – and my Spanish is exhausted. But hey, how are you? I want to ask a question: would you like to go to dinner? True, we don’t know each other at all. True, a not so insignificant distance probably separates our areas of residence (I live in North Carolina). But if you do see this I hope you will look over some of my credentials: 1 I am a regular bather 2 I don’t chew tobacco 3 I am a fantastic listener 4 I believe in science 5 I am a capable speller 6 I can drive a stick shift 7 I will never trade gold for cash, or check into cash, or buy a time share 8 I can read 9 I am in possession of all my original adult teeth. I’m probably not your biggest fan and even though i love 30Rock I just don’t watch much TV, being more of a reader-thinker-artist-warrior-poet-outdoorsman-animal lover. You seem pretty cool though, and just thought I’d throw it out there. Anyway, stay awesome, good luck with everything.
So I’m pretty sure this will result in absolutely no response, but if you actually do send it to her, or even just read it and laugh at the notion of a mere mortal suggesting such a thing I will owe you forever, preesh, keep rockin’.