Inventory

I am an idealist. I am an optimist. I am educated. I am scared of loneliness. I am a dork. I am a passionate learner. I sometimes lack self-confidence. I am overly self-critical. I am not a racist. I am not a chauvinist. I am athletic. I am impulsive. I can be extremely patient. I cannot be patient while driving. I am a humanist. I can be extremely awkward. I spend way too much time on facebook. I am honest. I can’t dance. Or sing. I am not scared of anybody, even if I know they’d do damage I probably wouldn’t walk away from if we fought. I love staying up all night. I cry when I see, hear, or read of people doing incredible things for the greater human good. I can’t cook at all. I need to learn how. I am perpetually lost in thought. I forget to call people back quite often, making me very angry with myself quite often. I have a bifurcated uvula. I absolutely believe in love. I also believe that a lot of people think, mistakenly, that love is about passion. I believe love is about friendship more than anything else. I am a traveler. I am a thinker. I do my best to avoid selfishness. I don’t always win that fight. I want to make my parents proud. I want to make my brother proud. I admire my brother – he is 2.5 years younger. I am eclectic. I worry sometimes that I’m one dimensional and that I’ll never be able to perceive it. I love shopping for clothes. I am observant. I am loud. I am not worried about age or wrinkles at all. I am worried about gaining weight. I am amazed by seemingly minor things. I think everything is beautiful. I don’t think that trait makes me special at all. I think its unrealistic sometimes. I am sometimes none of this, or all of it, or any combination. I don’t believe in a unified self. As sad as this may sound, I am convinced we can never really know each other, that we will always be in some sense alone. I am not constantly wallowing in despair because of this. I am one hell of a procrastinator. I am an animal lover. I sometimes see plants by themselves, like sprouting from a wall crevice, and wonder if they’re bored or lonely. I wonder the same thing about big churches. I am a huge fan of zombie media. I am almost always smiling when I am around people. I am a believer in the basic decency of human beings. I don’t ever despair, even when I’m posting all kinds of whiny bullshit. I am always writing too much. I am scared of losing my childlike enthusiasm and sense of wonder. I am incapable of saying no most of the time. I am determined to do something good with the time I have, something for other people. I have a scarily good memory. It isn’t always a good thing. I am some other stuff too.

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