Fun

Wherever you end up, enjoy it. Complacency and contentedness are two easily confusable but strikingly different things. Be easier on yourself, forgive people, and try not to worry, although I know how awesome a task that can be. I say this not because its easy, not because its a quick thing to accomplish, but because learning how to enjoy and appreciate the people and environment that surround you, regardless of their place in the fictional, idealized ‘greener grass’ scenario we all internalize, will make you an extremely happy person. I did not say a ‘worry free’ or ‘stress free’ or ‘tragedy free’ life, but one that is loosened from the anchor of conditional enjoyment. I am fascinated, intrigued, amazed, absolutely captivated by life, and more particularly I get the most happiness from hearing and/or experiencing vicariously in all the other ways possible the stories, experiences, and lives of other people. I don’t place more value on them than my own, I don’t substitute foster lives for my own, I don’t subordinate or in any other way denigrate the path I’ve taken, what I do is cherish the things people share with me as if it were my personal history being discussed. Learn to genuinely love the struggles, joys, pleasures, pains, heartbreaks, embarrassments, infuriating moments, injustices, and mild inconveniences of others and you will, I promise, be better from it. They are human, you are human, and it would shock us all if we knew how much we have in common. You don’t have to choose between dancing with sinners or crying with saints or chillin at the country club instead of the local dive bar, do both, do all, give everybody a chance, give them two chances, know that they are just as complex and confused and terrified as you, but maybe not in the same ratios or proportions or frequencies or whatever. I am intensely, almost spiritually in love with being alive, and that includes everything that can happen while one is living. I am curious, I am a passionate learner, I don’t hold grudges, I am an optimist, I look for the best in people and it would be hard to find a person I can’t say something generous about. I know it sounds like I’m writing a big “I am awesome” autobiography here, but this is about self-exploration if anything, sounding out the parts of my personality that are foreign even to me. I don’t know, the more I learn the more I realize that there are no neat answers, and wishing for them would be like cheating your way through med school or cultivating a meth habit: self-destructive at best. I live, I love, I enjoy, I look not nervously or uneasily to the future but with reverence and awe for what is possible, what may be seen or heard or touched or witnessed or lived through, all of it.

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