Celebrity Date Attempt: Keira Knightley

Keira! what is up? I was wondering if you would like to grab dinner and hang out one evening. We could eat, then just chill in a cafe and eat over-priced desserts while we people watch and judge them for wardrobe faux pas. We could also discuss historical and current state malfeasance and commiserate about the ongoing degradation of land, sea, and air. I really do enjoy discussing big issues, like, for example: freshwater resource crisis, Bisphenol A pollution, the privatization of government functions, wealth disparity, etc. I’m a pretty cool guy I guess, my senior superlative was “Runner-Up: Life of the Party” and it wasn’t amateur hour, there was some serious competition. I’m also not stupid, I made a 1390 on the SAT (1600 point scale), which puts me at probably like 75% percentile in the US. I can also do a backflip 720 on a trampoline, so I got skills too. Anyway, just let me know, I’m good for most evenings. Good luck with everything, stay awesome.



the lovely Keira Knightley


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